What's In A Name?
by Sashet
Summary: The Doctor ponders what it means to be ..The Doctor. Introspective 10th or 11th Doctor oneshot.


A/N

I thought I had written my last DW piece a long time ago but maybe this proves the old adage...never say never!

I found some prompts on the consci_fan_mo LJ site and this one just screamed Doctor to me.

How could I refuse?

The usual thanks to Dr. D - who was as pleased to see The Doctor back as I was to write for him.

What's in a name?

_I will not burden you with a title_

_Leaving you nameless and faceless_

_Enduring despite the hastening void_

_Violins in the wind_

_Cliff J Burns_

The Doctor.

It is a title but not a burden…it will NEVER be a burden.

It is more than a title, it is who I am, what I am. It has defined me for nearly a thousand years and will, I hope, continue to define me for a thousand more.

It is something I can hide behind, a wall that I can use to make me believe that I don't…can't…care about those who travel beside me. It saves me from facing who I really am and almost saves me from facing some of the things I have been forced to do.

The Doctor.

It is a name, a rallying call, a cry for help and all of us who have carried that title have never been able to resist its insistent call. And as long as the name lives on then there will be help and belief and hope for those who call on The Doctor.

The Doctor.

The name never changes although the face of the man proud enough to call himself that does. It changes and parts of what I am change too…but the core of who I am will NEVER change.

I have been old and cantankerous.

I have been young and foolish.

I have been everything in-between.

And yet none of this matters to those I have helped, those I have saved and even to those I have failed. I heard their cries and when they called on The Doctor I came and I did what I could, what I had to. A few knew me and what I did but more, so many more, knew nothing of me and what I did. I preferred it that way.

I have travelled throughout time and space and seen things that even I have found hard to believe.

I have seen worlds rise and worlds fall.

I have seen tyranny and benevolence in equal measure.

Love and hatred seem to have been the only constants throughout all of my lives.

The Doctor.

It is a face and a name that are known and loved.

Or hated and feared.

I don't shy from either.

The Doctor has been known as many things to those who call on him.

I am the Oncoming Storm, The Destroyer of Worlds. Some might think I am the Devil, some might think that I might even be a God but at the end of time when I am no more I will have always been The Doctor.

The Doctor.

I have endured so much and I know that although this part of my journey is almost at an end there is yet more still waiting for me.

And that is good.

Enduring, surviving is what I do, what I have had to learn to do.

I have loved and lost more than anybody should have to, and yet with each love and each loss I have grown stronger. My resolve to help those who can no longer help themselves is renewed.

I never did what I could for me, for adulation and for praise, for love. I did it because I could and now I do it to honour those who can no longer be by my side.

Each and every one of them, from the school teacher to the would-be doctor, from the air hostess to the girl who waited, taught me a lesson that I will never, could never, forget.

They all left what they knew, tea and TV, jobs and families, to run with me. They saw the best and the worst of everything…of me.

They laughed with me, they cried for me when I couldn't and they showed me time and again that the compassion of the human race should never be underestimated.

The Doctor.

I have left my mark throughout all of time and space.

I have outlasted friends and enemies, even the whole of my race.

I am the Last of The Time Lords and even I am not immortal.

Another void, another dark place awaits me.

This Doctor will die and yet another will be reborn.

I…we…live on.

My time is not done yet.

And as long as there is hatred, despair, violence in the Universe then it never will.

I am The Doctor.

Call me and I will come.

Believe in me and I will live on.


End file.
